magical fairy bird

Progress

2009-08-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I love how it took me only six years to change up the way I am beginning a new school year. I am starting my seventh year of teaching on Monday. I am thrilled to be starting my second year at the same (fabulous) school and in the same grade level. I feel powerful this year!

I decided that instead of beginning my preparation the week before school in ten-twelve hour overwhelming days, I started a bit earlier and have been working in smaller, more manageable chunks. In doing this, I feel healthier, both physically and mentally. I have spent a few hours at school over the past two weeks, but I have also maintained a balance of work and play. My goal is to avoid the pressures that stem from an overloaded and unhealthy back to school schedule. For now, I think it's working. I am really trying not to get sick as I normally do in the beginning of the year. I even scheduled a trip with some friends for this weekend to get away to Breckenridge before we get back to it on Monday! I think it will be the perfect way to come back...refreshed!

I know it's hard to believe that I could get more organized than I already am, but I have! Being that my classroom is in a mobile, I decided to maximize every square inch of space in the room. Everything that is in my room has a purpose. If it didn't serve a purpose last year, then I pitched it. Everything is placed for a specific reason. I hope that by arranging things in such a way, I will create a more purposeful and authentic space in which to honor the learning that will happen there.

I am VERY excited because I had the fortunate opportunity to attend a workshop at the beginning of the summer that focused on 21st Century Learning. It's focus, in short, was on preparing our students for careers of the 21st century...some of which haven't even been discovered yet! Right now, our education system is geared to prepare our children for only TEN career paths. I'm serious. TEN. Our curriculums and state testing obsessed ways are not cutting it for the kind of work that is coming. Through this workshop, which was funded by a grant, every participant who attended received a multimedia learning smart cart, with which to incorporate technology into the classroom. I am thrilled to get back to the use of a document camera (versus an overhead projector...LAME!), a new laptop, a new projector (which I did not have access to last year), and a new sound system. I feel like this is going to completely change the way I can teach this year. Although I had all of this equipment at my fingertips when I was teaching in Texas, the authentic and purposeful learning was missing. I am excited that the two pieces are coming together this year.

I will take some pictures of my new learning space tomorrow and post. I think it feels inviting, calm, open, and ready to be occupied by new little minds.

Here's to another year!

You just haven't found the right one yet...

2009-07-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

A little background...

I dated this guy named Jeff last October. I liked him, but it fizzled after about a month and I haven't spoken to him since. He's called/texted a couple of times, but I never responded. I got the following email from him tonight...

Erin,

First off don't worry I deleted your #. I know something must have happened to have you not want to return my call etc. From what I remember we got in a little spat the last time we talked & by the advice of my gf's at work they said if she's interested she'll call. I think I made a few attempts for drinks with my friends but nothing.

Anyway to close this one out I'd like to know so I don't make the same mistake in the future. During that time I had thought you were maybe seeing that guy in boulder, but you & I weren't exclusive so I didn't feel it was my place to say anything. I thought you were cool, funny, cute & had plenty of funny stories from your class. So I guess just know that.

But if you can at least let me know what I messed up along the way I'd greatly appreciate it. Don't worry I can delete your email after sending this - just had the same sort of scenario about a week ago & am curious if this is a habit or what.

Thanks again Erin,

Jeff

Timing is funny...here's how I answered...

Hey Jeff ~

First off, sorry I didn't respond to your IM the other day...I didn't recognize your email address. And for that matter, I'm sorry I did not respond to your couple of phone calls. Honestly, I generally am pretty straight forward when it comes to closing out a relationship. I have no specific reason why I was not straight forward with you...please don't take it personally, but it was rude of me and I'm sorry.

It's funny that you emailed tonight, actually. Just in the last few weeks, I've stumbled upon a few exes who are now married and although I'm happy for them and glad I'm not married to them for one reason or another, it's got me wondering, where have I gone wrong to not be in the same scenario? When I read your email, the first thing I thought was, we just weren't meant for each other. It's not that you DID anything specifically that turned me off or offended me in any way. I found you attractive, funny, and ambitious. I liked that you seem close to your family. I just didn't see us together in the long run. Some women like dating and enjoy the comfort of being linked to someone. While I enjoy being in a relationship, I want to be in one with someone who I can see a future with.

So, unfortunately, I can't give you the magic answer. I wish I could because then, I might be in a more fulfilling relationship myself. A girlfriend of mine just told me recently, "There's nothing wrong with you. It's nothing you're doing or not doing...you just haven't found the right one yet."

I don't think you messed up...I just don't think you've found the right one yet either.

I wish you much luck in finding the right one...think of it this way, she's wondering where the hell you are too! :)

Erin

And I'll close this post with something I read on the mirror of the bathroom at a restaurant called Cafe Gratitude in San Francisco over the summer...

I am worthy of everything wonderful!

First Bike Ride and Interview

2009-04-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

First, can I get an Amen for posting another blog less than a month from the last time? I will attribute part of that to the fact that I borrowed a laptop from school which is just easier to use at home since I can take it away from our little guest room/ office downstairs...only to find out that they're buying me my own NEW laptop which should be here this week! Sweet, huh?! Maybe I can keep up this blog thing better??!! I said maybe.

So, yesterday was a great day! Cara, Kara, and I decided to go on a bike ride. It wasn't perfectly sunny out, but nice enough. We decided on a pretty easy ride that Kara found by calling one of the local bike shops; however, we must have missed a turn because we ended up at a trail that the girls have been on called Lair O' the Bear, which is a bit more technical and has some climbing streaks, which of course, I wasn't really ready for...especially on my first run! We had a great time, although I felt extremely out of shape! I need to spend some time on some flat trails just to get used to my bike and get my legs back in gear before I go back out to a rough mountain trail again. I bit it pretty hard coming over the top of one of the hills...there were two pretty thick roots in the middle of the track and I couldn't decide if I should go over them or around since I was going fairly steep downhill. I decided last second to go around to the right and fell into the brush on the side of the trail. I didn't flip over my bike, but didn't land too gracefully either! Not too hurt, just a few scratches, I got up and continued on. The uphills were pretty steep and had a lot of switchbacks (sharp turns going in the other direction like zig-zagging up the mountain) that I had to walk my bike through, although so did Kara and Cara. I'm pretty sure the switchbacks take a bit of experience to be able to handle on the bike.

Riding downhill felt exhilerating! I learned last night that I need to keep pedaling as it continues to balance the bike, even when I'm going downhill. When we got to the bottom, the girls and I were just jackin' around in the parking lot and we decided it would be great fun to try and jump our bikes up onto this foot and a half ledge. What the hell was I thinking?! Cara (Dallas) is super athletic! So she makes it up in a second and I'm thinking, "hey, I can do that!" So I pull my bike half way across the lot, race towards the center median, pull my bike up too late, and flip myself and the bike onto the grass! I wasn't hurt, but it was much like running myself into a wall! It was pretty funny! Then Kara (my roomie) decided she should try and did about the same thing that I did, but somehow she racked the hell out of herself in the process and was on the ground holding herself like a guy! I felt so bad because I knew she was actually in pain, but it was the FUNNIEST looking thing I have seen in quite a while! She and her bike just sat there in mid air for about ten seconds while we all knew it wasn't going to end well. We laughed our happy assess off for a long time about that one. I have a strawberry bruise on each leg from our adventure/ stupidity.

Last night I met with the first family who I've been speaking with about a possible summer nanny position. They were a nice family. The kids seem a bit inactive, which doesn't interest me as much, but they seemed like a good family and I'm sure we'd all get along. I sent the mother my references today and she replied saying that I was their top candidate right now but that they had a couple more interviews this week. I have another one on Wednesday as well that I am looking forward to. This family seems much more active with three girls (13, 11, and 8) who are all involved in various camps through out the summer. Keep your fingers crossed that this family and I actaully connect as well as I'm feeling we might! It's a four day a week job and I like the idea of having most of the week dedicated to earning some extra money. I'm also talking with several people about possible dog and house sitting gigs, some for this month and some for this summer, which I hope work out. I think that is such an easy way to make money and enjoy being with animals. Keep you posted on that...

After the interview with the first family (not of the United States, just the first of a couple families I'm talking to), I went to Darcy's house for dinner with she and her boyfriend Alex. They invited me over earlier in the day and cooked up a yummy good meal! We had such a nice time eating and enjoying each other's company. That is my kind of Sunday...

For now, I'm looking for another trail to ride on Wednesday after school...it's supposed to be 70! Wish me luck!

I'm a once a month blogger...

2009-04-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

Sue me!

Anyway, I have no news to report about any of the EHarmony boys...I'm pretty much off that band wagon. My service expires in a week and I'm not renewing...it takes so much time! Not that there weren't some perks, but sitting in front of my computer (especially now that it's beautiful outside) is not my idea of fun! So, no, nothing else happened with any of the guys I met. They were all great people, but none of them really captured my attention. In laymen's terms...I was bored.

Instead, I bought a bike! I love it! My roommate, Kara, and friend, Cara, have been biking lately and I've been thinkig about getting one, so I finally did. It's a great little mountain bike that actually fits me! Shocker, I know...the guy at the bike shop said most women's bikes are made to fit women who are about 5'0". I was overjoyed...no one EVER says that! I took it for a little spin in the parking lot, Cara was impressed that I didn't even stop as I went down the curb, and the bike (which has a few fairly inconspicuous little butterflies) and I fell in love! I decided to wait a couple days so I could do some price comparisons and a little more research, but when I went back, she was still on hold for me. There was this cute bike technician who we visited with briefly when we first went who remembered me when I came in again and he helped me out. He was really easy to talk to and after visiting while he was doing some finishing touches on my bike, he gave me his number and said to give him a call if we go riding soon! I think I actually will! In fact, he's fairly new to Denver as well and I thought I would ask him if he wanted to join our kickball league this summer...yes, it's true...fun people playing kickball in the park this summer. I'm excited! My friend, Darcy, and I went riding on Tuesday after school, but just around the neighborhood park, Wash Park. We had a blast! If you haven't been on a bike since you were about 8, I highly recommend it! Makes you feel like you're carelessly 8 again. My ass hurts, but I can get that taken care of soon...going to get bike shorts tomorrow! Kara and Cara and I are going up to Red Rocks on Sunday...should be great...wonderful weather and Red Rocks is a beautiful area. I want to ask the guy from the bike shop to join us, but not on my first run. I'll call him soon though...he has an infectious laugh, although he didn't laugh AT me when I couldn't take my tire off to get it in the car. He came running out to help the damsel in distress. :)

So, siblings, if you're thinking of birthday gift ideas, I'm all about bike accessories! Fingerless gloves, a small camel backpack, helmet (I'm borrowing one of Kara's right now), water bottle holder, insulated water bottle, etc. Although if any of you buy me a bell, I'll kill you!

The end of school is nearing. I've never felt more productive in my work than I have this year. It's been an incredible year! I love the students in my class and the professionalism that I've experienced thus far. Darcy and I will be working on a book this summer! I'm looking forward to the summer months here. Although I usually take several trips in the summer, I'm only taking one in July...I'm planning to get to Dallas on July 11th for Steph's baby shower, spending time at home, seeing friends I miss dearly, and then heading to Austin with my play group growing up. I'll be in Texas for about ten days. Other than that, I'm looking forward to people coming to visit ME! I'm so excited to be in my new home, exploring, working a bit, relaxing, biking, practicing yoga, hiking, finding a fabulous hot spring! If anyone wants to join, feel free! We have plenty of room at the house.

I'm in the midst of talking with a few families in hopes to nanny this summer. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. One, in particular, sounds quite promising and a great fit...I'll keep you posted...probably next month. :)

I miss my family (all over the country) and I miss, miss, miss my dear friends...

But I still love it here.

Much love...

The Immaculate Household

2009-03-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

It is the Friday before Spring Break...clearly I'm not teaching, clearly there's not a lot of productive learning happening. My kids have just about all had melt downs today. We need a break. Thank God I'll be in San Fran by tomorrow afternoon!

I tried to blog a few days ago and was blocked! You can imagine my dismay! Somehow, though, I was able to get on today. The district techies are probably already on their Spring Break.

Quick dating update...

I went for dinner and drinks on monday night with Aaron (with an A), the rock climber who lives in Boulder. We went to this sweet little restaurant in LoDo called Lola's and then around the corner to Forest Room Five for a drink afterwards. I like him. He's interesting, he's funny, and the boy's a good kisser. Our conversation was great...no lulls (there were a couple last time). He seems genuine and passionate. I'm sure I'll see him again when I get back in town.

I spent last night with Dana. Dana is a very interesting person. I wish I had a video clip to share because I can't think of how to describe him. He's still a bit formal, which I think is just his style. We went for a quick bite to eat at this little pub in downtown Denver and then back to his place for drinks. I learned that he's divorced. I'm totally fine with this, but the fact that he still seems to be stuck in his glory days of high school and college is becoming clearer to me. I think he is trying to redefine himself and the last time he really knew himself, he was between the ages of 17-24. So, it's as if he's gone back to that point to pick up the pieces. He talks a lot about his accomplishments during that time. I call this blog the immaculate household because that is exactly what his flat was like...ridiculously immaculate. I know I'm anal about where things go, but I realized that I'm truly not that bad comparatively! Towards the end of the night, we made out for a while on his couch. In between kissing, he was very complimentary of our time together and said he was already looking forward to my returning to Denver. I like Dana, but I'm pretty sure he's not my guy. He's too perfect-seeming. I know he's not actually perfect, but he wants to give off that vibe and it's kind of annoying. I feel like I should be careful with him though...in the sense that i don't want to drag this on if I'm not truly interested in pursuing this with him. He said last night that I was the first special person he's met in a long time...I don't want to drag it out if it's not what I want.

I'm also talking to another guy who's 6'6". I don't have a name picked out for him yet, but this height thing is getting a little ridiculous, don'tcha think?!

Much go grab lunch!

Much love!

Dating Update

2009-03-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

This past week was a busy one in terms of meeting new people. Last Wednesday, I went out with the 6'4" Red Head for date number 2. We met at another swanky little wine bar (this time in Boulder) and then went to a Tibetan restaurant called Sherpa's for appetizers. He's probably been my favorite of the online boys so far. I don't necessarily feel a romantic connection with him, but we definitely connect. He's very funny (and not in an obnoxious way) and I enjoy his intellect as well. I've noticed that characteristic increasingly climbing up the "I'm gonna need you to have ______" list.

On Saturday, before I went to Ft. Collins to hear my lover play (and by lover, I mean Michael Franti, who, by the way, invited all 800 of us to join him at his house in San Francisco for a sing-a-long session around his fish pond in his backyard ~ I'm going to need my bro Andy to get on that ASAP since he's tight with him now that Andy's working his lights...going to be in SF in 2 weeks ~ coincidence? I think not!), I met up with Aaron (With an A, of course) for coffee. Earlier that day, I stumbled into this fabulous little boutique where I bought a perfectly fitting pair of skinny jeans (whole other story...did you know that designers make this size called "petites" and that it works really well for my 5'0" frame, even with the booty?! Why did I just discover this at age 28?!). My point is that I wore them to coffee and looked cute! ANYWAY, Aaron is a rock climber...moved to CO for it actually. He was a bit nervous (it seemed) at first, but we got into a groove and I enjoyed his company as well. We talked about the idea of going climbing together, which I would definitely love to try. I sort of feel like going on a couple different dates in various settings helps me get a better picture of the person. This won't be a shocker to most of you, but I have a pretty dominant personality and I think it would be interesting to see how Aaron (With an A) is like in a setting that is completely comfortable to him and totally foreign to me. So, I'm sure there will be a date #2.

Finally, I went out with FastTrack last night for drinks and dinner. FastTrack is handsome, sure of himself, and ambitious. He has a lot to say, although I can't knock him because I know I do too. Although I did enjoy our time, I hope he relaxes a little bit more next time. There were moments when he showed his sense of humor, but it was as if he didn't want to really show me that part of himself, although I know it's there because that's why I was interested in him in the first place through his profile and emails. It's sort of hard to explain, but it was almost a little too business-like?? The conversation was good...he's from Maine, has an interesting background, seems smart (got his MBA at Notre Dame and is now in law school because he likes to argue, although he assured me (because I asked) that he doesn't always think he's right), is liberal-minded, is well-traveled, and works for an Olympic anti-doping company (forgot to ask him what he thinks of the legalization of pot). After a drink at one place and sushi at another, he wanted to grab coffee elsewhere, but I declined because (hello?!) it's a school night. He lives near the restaurant, so I drove him back to his place and in a business-like manner, he said he wanted to do this again ~ he's leaving for Costa Rica on Thursday and suggested that we get together before, although I didn't commit to anything, but he might get lucky! I think it would be fun to cook at his place ~ I got the feeling he doesn't do that too much. He seemed into the idea although I don't know that that would happen for date #2. We'll see!

I was never able figure out how to juggle balls, but apparently, I'm getting better at it! :)

And one more thing...I was surprised to see someone named Mark read my last blog and write a very nice comment...thanks, Mark! I appreciate the Events and Adventures suggestion...I definitely would love to check it out, although I'm actually living in Denver now, not Dallas. Haven't had a chance to see if they're here yet...

Hope everyone is doing well and survived the first day of springing forward!

The Bachelor is Bullshit and I am Dating...Many Men!

2009-03-02T21:04:00.000-08:00

I don't want to talk about the fact that SOME of you officially hate the book Wemberly Worried. It's still a classic...and don't you be surprised if I buy it for one of your babies. :)

I just got finished watching the season finale of the Bachelor. I can't believe they put that poor girl through hell and back and hell again. God love her. She lives in Dallas...someone get her Dr.Don's number for some much needed therapy.

But on to more pressing issues! So I joined eHarmony about a month ago. Two of my girlfriends here and I decided that we needed to challenge ourselves at least once a month to step outside of the comfort zone in search of available, single, emotionally and mentally capable men. It can be a daunting task, especially for those of us who would just like for Prince Charming to knock on the door and announce that he's Mr. Perfect. So, my challenge for February was to join a dating site. And it has proven to be pretty fun! I have already been out on two dates, I'm going on a 2nd date this week with one of the guys I met last week, and I'm SO excited because two of the guys that I have been talking with that I'm interested in both asked me out too! But now, of course, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed! How the hell do guys just flit around and date copious amounts of women?! It's exhausting! But I feel like I'm on my own, more private version, of the Bachelorette!

Quick run down...of course, I'll give them nicknames...it's much more fun and easier to remember who's who...

First Date: The 6'4 Red Head
I know what you're thinking already...6'4? Red hair? He and I went out last week for drinks at this swanky little wine bar. Good, easy conversation...he's totally laid back and there was hardly a lull in the flow of our talking. I was impressed with the fact that he just straight up said when and where we were going. I'm all about a guy who can just make a plan (imagine that?). If for nothing else, I was grateful to have a boost of confidence that I can actually do this. This meaning make a plan with someone of the opposite sex, drive to the bar looking 1/2 way decent, walk in by myself when I don't see him there, order a drink (swig it down real fast), order another one (and leave it lying casually on the table), and graciously introduce myself when he walks in. It was a good start.
Status: Rose (I am seeing him again on Wednesday)

Second Date: Zach Braff
I went out last night with "Zach." He looks like Zach Braff, but more than that I'm calling him that because at one point, when we were talking about Garden State and how we liked the movie and soundtrack he said, "I'm pretty much Zach Braff...weird, creative, big headed." I don't even remember what he said past that. I was irritated that he compared himself (and he was COMPLETELY serious) to Zach Braff and was fine with having the asshole side that Zach Braff apparently has. This guy is 27, which I know is only a year younger than me, but he felt younger than that. I was over him 1/2 way through dinner. I was looking for the "Close Match" button that I've used so frequently on eHarmony and couldn't find it. I even tried this thing that Ben does when he's not interested in a conversation that we're having where he just yells in the middle of our talking,"BORING!" (although I tried it it my mind so as not to seem rude), but it didn't work. Finally, I said I had to get home because I had an early morning. I emailed him the friend email and this was his reply...

Hey Erin,
You're more than welcome for dinner last night. Thank you for a great time (and for the coffee)!
I appreciate your honesty and being up front with me so quickly. To continue this open and straightforward communication, I really enjoyed hanging with you last night and thought (and still think) that you and I had (have) some real potential considering how much we have in common and how we interacted. With that said, being friends would be pretty cool too. I still want to do a movie on Friday, as I think it would be a good time. Would you still be interested? I'll let you decide what we see (since you've seen more of what's out than I have). What do you say?Anyway, hope the rest of your week goes well. Feel free to drop me a text, e-mail, or phone call anytime and let me know about Friday. Take Care! (Zach Braff)

I added that last part since clearly that isn't his name, but did ANYONE catch the deal breaker?! That's right...he use the token words I hate...take care.
Status: No Rose

Interest 3: Aaron With an A
He's only an interest because we haven't gone out yet, although we're supposed to get together this week. Aaron With an A is from Boulder. He actually moved here fairly recently as well. He's super cute and seems like he could be very intellectually stimulating. He's into yoga, rock climbing, and hiking. I'm a little nervous because I'm afraid that he'll end up being like Bruno, which is actually a HUGE generalization, but what can I say? He's a Boulder Boy.

Interest 4: FastTrack
He's handsome, he's funny, and he's light-hearted about the whole online dating thing. I call him FastTrack because on eHarmony, you are given the option to either go through Guided Communication, in which you post questions to each other before the "open communication" phase or you can just do FastTrack, at which point, you are just emailing back and forth with the person without any assistance from Dr. Warren. Since his profile stated that he preferred FastTrack, I decided to email him. Here is part of his reply:

I'm glad you liked my profile! You'd be surprised how many people take this very seriously and find my profile offensive! I sort of think the whole online dating process this site employs is fairly strange, so I did my best to make light of it. That's why I prefer FastTrack. I prefer to get to know someone by talking to them, not through pre-set questions and MHCSs that don't really tell you anything about someone. Through guided communication, you learn profound things such as your matches can't stand racists and need to receive affection in relationships. It's sort of akin to someone telling you that the world is round and that dinosaurs are extinct.I really enjoyed your profile too!

In my book, you get HUGE points for not listing Eat, Pray, Love as the last book you enjoyed. I'm sure it's a great book, mostly because every girl on this site names that book in their profile, but the fact that you didn't makes you different and I like that.

As with Aaron With an A, FastTrack just asked me out tonight, so I'll email him back tomorrow with a YES, PLEASE! I think he has great potential!

That's all for now...I'll (try to!) keep you posted!

Much love...

Wemberly Worried

2009-01-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite children's books is called Wemberley Worried. It's about a little mouse (Wemberley) who worried about going to school and through out the whole book the author writes, "Don't worry," said her mother. "Don't worry," said her father. But Wemberley worried.

I bring this up because I think about those lines every time I begin to worry myself. My worries generally correlate with my incessant need to have control over every aspect of my life and not allow God to interfere. However, the fact that I have become more aware of this correlation has been truly exciting in my life over the past several months, in particular. It has allowed me to begin freeing myself of that incessant need and to simply trust in the fact that God, karma, goodness, faith, and the positive energies that I emit into the world will come back to greet and take care of me, giving me exactly what I need at exactly the right time.

Case in point...I have a sweet picture of Kathleen and Surya on the mirror in my room. I see it every morning when I wake up and many other times through out the day. I miss them terribly (Andy included in that equation)! I had a tentative plan to visit them during my Spring Break, but started to fret about high flight prices and the budget that I'm living on. In the past couple weeks, I felt that that thought had become more and more of a fading hope. I worried about when I would see them next. I just don't want to go for many, many months not being able to see Surya grow up.

This morning, I noticed a text on my phone from Andy. They both want to attend a conference next weekend (in the bay area) and wondered if I might be able to come out to San Fran to watch Surya while they're gone during the daytime. At first, I started to worry! Can you believe it?! Me either! I wondered, do I have enough days to take Friday off? Will I have to spend any money? Is it a good idea to leave my class? And almost immediately after those questions started firing, I thought, of course I should go! God has laid out an opportunity for me to give up control (in terms of my need to have a set schedule...it's a bit spontaneous considering it's a week and a half away) and has given me yet another example of how I should be more open and trusting. Andy and Kaki crunched some numbers...it's going to cost more for them to pay a babysitter for the whole weekend than to just fly me out and BONUS, Surya gets to spend time with his auntie (I mean I get to spend time with my sweetie nephew boy)!!

In the meantime, I randomly checked out flights for Spring Break to go back out to San Fran and (thinking they would be insane), I ended up finding one for $160! That is practically unheard of these days.

SO, in the end of the story, Wemberley realizes that she didn't need to spend so much time worrying in the first place, as everything worked out the way it was supposed to.

Back to School

2009-01-08T07:05:00.000-08:00

The kids and I are in the midst of our first week back from break. I don't know about them, but I'm flippin' exhausted! I've gone home each day this week to my ever so inviting bed for a long cat nap...and I've slept like a baby every night!

My break was really nice...very relaxing and low key. I was nervous about the ten day trip to Dallas (only because I wasn't sure about ten days with mom), but all went better than expected. The small version of our family (mom, dad, me, and Jodi) had a really nice time together. I enjoyed cooking, being quite lazy, practicing a little yoga at my old studio, reading, and seeing my girlfriends.

It was nice to get back to Colorado though. I was glad to have some time to hang out here without having to be in the scurry of work mode. I went to Winter Park with a group of friends (who I work with) and we had a blast! I skied on Saturday and had my first try at snowboarding on Sunday. I loved it! I decided to "be the skier/snowboarder" as my mom always advised us about anything new or scary we tried and it worked out quite well. I figured that if I just throw myself into it, I'd have more fun trying that way...and I did!

Anyway, I'm off to teach this morning. It's been really nice to be back with my kids...I really love my class and truly missed them over the past couple of weeks.

Here are a couple pics from Winter Park:

Here's to a Happy New Year! May good things come to each of us!

Much love!

While looking for something particular...

2008-11-22T16:12:00.000-08:00

Cara's (Dallas) birthday was yesterday! So the two C/Kara's and I went to dinner and then to another place for dessert. Cara (Dallas) has been wanting to try this new Italian restaurant that's smack in the middle of our neighborhood...totally cute...family style, really cozy and quaint. So we went...and it was awesome! Great food and wine...good catch up conversation (I hadn't even seen much of my roommate through out this week...both of us were pretty busy). So it was nice to catch up and drink wine and eat yummy food! Then we decided to go to another place for dessert. Kara (Iowa/ roomie) remembered this place in an area called Highlands Ranch, which is slightly north of us. So we headed on up. We were driving around and she was having a hard time remembering exactly where it was, but could picture it and what was around it. I was in the back actually enjoying our little scenic tour. I had never ventured into this area before and was trying to remember little shops and restaurants that I want to go back and visit. It was actually quite nice driving and visiting and laughing about I can't even remember what. But at some point, when she was getting frustrated, I said out loud to Kara, "doesn't it drive you nuts when you know exactly what you're looking for and you can't quite figure out how to get there?" (thinking this might ease any anxiousness about being the lost driver). And right after I said that, I thought well, THAT could be applied to a number of situations! I remembered what I said because I wanted to see where the evening took us and see if I could equate it to the bigger picture that popped in my head. And of course it did. We ended up at this wonderful little place called Duo, which was also quaintly located in the middle of the neighborhood, which I just love because it's local and quiet, and not so overwhelming. We loved the dessert and all agreed that we had to come back for a meal at some point. Kara wasn't sure if it was even the place she was originally thinking, although she thought it might have been. When I reflected on that phrase and where the path we took led us, I remembered (and this is SO something I need to remember as one who is looking to give up some unnecessary control and rather find more balance in my life) that sometimes, straying off the narrow planned path can lead to some extraordinary things. So I'm writing this as a reminder that even if I think I know what I'm looking for and I'm "having a hard time getting there" it's the journey and process that's the fun part and eventually, it will lead to exactly where I need to be.

Ultra Quick Update...

2008-11-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

* moved into my new place (hints the reason I haven't written in a while)

* had strep last weekend, so the move is still mildly in progress

* over Iowa...still am not fully connecting with him and I'm beginning to lose interest...must break it off soon

* SO excited about going to Dallas for Thanksgiving to be with my family (except Andy, who will be doing lighting work that weekend with Michael Franti

* still hoping Michael Franti will remember me dancing with him on stage this summer and will want to make out

* school is good but busy...still working on finding balance between work and play

* darkening my hair on Saturday to get ready for Drew to cut it over the holiday

That's all for now!

A Prayer

2008-11-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

Thank you for this beautiful day! Thank you for allowing me to be alive, happy, and healthy. Thank you for letting me live in a place where I can see mountains every day. Watch over my family and friends as they walk through today. Keep each one of them safe and happy. Help them to stay present today in their individual lives.

Watch over our country today, God. Help us remember that you have already chosen the man who will lead us next. Whoever is your choice, help us support him, even if he is not the man that WE wanted. Help us come together as a national community rather than attack each other's thoughts. That is what they merely are...thoughts. Help this man stay humble and true to the people he is serving and help him to make good decisions for us.

In love and light...

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

The kids have today off, so we had our Halloween parties yesterday! They are allowed to dress up here and they were so cute! We did "Spooky Reading" during our reading time (which basically means I turned off all the lights in the room, they brought flashlights to read with, and could sit where ever they wanted)...in 3rd grade terms, this is a BIG deal. They thought it was so much fun. Here are a few pics...

My team and I were skeletons. We just finished a unit on the human body where the kids learned about bones. They were quite impressed by our home made costumes. I blew up the bones on the copier and we pinned them to our black clothes! Cheap! They held up surprisingly well...at least until the end of the day. I love my team!

No big plans for Halloween...might just be doing dinner/ drinks with the girls!

Happy Halloween!

Snooze...

2008-10-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

No, that's not how I feel about the new guy...that was the name of the breakfast restaurant we went to Sunday morning. We decided to scruff out a bit (although you know I still took a shower, did my makeup, and straightened my hair...but I acted like that was the way I normally looked when I roll out of bed). He noticed and thought I looked cute so early in the morning. :)

I'm not sure what to say about him or the date (and frankly, we went out last Thursday night as well and I'm still feeling the same way). It's not that I don't like him because I really do. I like being around him...there's something I am drawn to in him. I think we're both attracted to each other and enjoy that we have so much in common (and not just piddly crap, but actual fundamental beliefs). But, I feel like there is an awkwardness that we either can't figure out or get around. I realize we've only been out a few times, and maybe that's just it, in which case I'm not going to throw in the towel just yet. But, I wish I knew how to "fix" it. One of my teammates suggested that we're both into each other, but may be afraid to mess anything up, which actually makes a lot of sense to me. It seems like we're both acting that way. She also said it's probably time that we either hang out with his friends or mine, which also seems like a good idea so that we can truly see how each other is with our friends.

I've also got to give him a break considering we probably shouldn't have even gotten together yesterday. He's been having back issues and really wasn't feeling well, but wanted to go have breakfast together. Doesn't that sound like he's into me? I mean, would he REALLY go to that trouble? I did tell him though that he should have cancelled on me. He said he didn't want me to get the wrong idea. He's really freakin' cute. And when he pulled off his sweatshirt because it turned out to be warmer than he anticipated, revealing his stomach and chest as his undershirt went flying up as well, I wanted to peel all of his clothes off and forget about getting breakfast. I refrained.

He wants to grab happy hour sushi at his favorite restaurant near his house this week. So we'll see how that goes...

For now, enjoy this deliciously warm picture of fall in Colorado...

Quick Weekend Home

2008-10-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

It was a quick weekend home to Dallas this past weekend for mom's birthday. It was great to walk into the house. Home. I could FEEL it. I've been in transition for about 3 months now and just to feel what home feels like was so comforting. Not to mention that I loved being with Mom, Dad, and Jodi. I miss them so much.

I got to see the girls on Saturday morning for breakfast. I made them ham, egg, and cheese croissants and we sat around gabbing like old times. I think it was much needed for all of us. Here's a of pic from Saturday morning of the four of us...

This is our impression of John McCain...

The rest of the weekend I spent with the fam. We had a great Indian food lunch on Saturday and then went to see The Secret Life of Bees (very good). Jodi and I made breakfast on Sunday morning and then we just hung out for the rest of the day. We had cake outside for mom's birthday and I fell asleep in the sun. It was very peaceful.

I'm back now and although I feared that coming back would feel awkward, I was so glad to be in Colorado again. I think this continues to validate the feeling that I'm supposed to be here.

The Boy From Iowa

2008-10-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Went on a date last night with Jeff...the boy from Iowa...complete gentleman (came to get me, actually walked up to the house, opened my car door, paid for dinner). The difference between him and the southern boys' manners is that he actually seemed genuine. He didn't make a big deal of it...just seems like that's what he does. His mama taught him well.

The restaurant was a good choice...great food, nice atmosphere. We shared a couple of delicious appetizers (calamari and tuna tartare) and an entree (scallops) and dessert (chocolate raspberry cake). The conversation was good...after a drink of wine, it seemed like we both chilled out a bit.

Found out that he manages the big accounts in a brokerage/ real estate law firm. I was interested in what he did, but of course, when he started to explain it sort of went over my head and all I could hear is "whah, whah, whah, whah, whah" like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Hey, I tried. He's from a small town in Iowa called Hamburg. Seriously. They have Taco Tuesdays and Hamburger Wednesdays in his hometown. He suggested that we grab a vespa and take an 8 hour road trip there just for dinner. Glad he changed his mind to stay in Denver. He lives with his brother about 10 minutes south of me. He's the baby in his family...one older sister and two older brothers. Seems close with them. I like that he talks to his parents just about every day. He snowboards in the winter and suggested that I check out Copper Mountain...it's one of his favorites. The conversation was reciprocal, which is something that I listen for on a first date. He definitely isn't too into himself (nice change).

He's handsome even without a hat on (you know that guy...the one you think is good looking, but he has a hat on and sure enough he takes it off and your head kind of cocks to the side and you have to re-think)...not that way at all with him. He's got McDreamy hair (which sort of pisses me off because why should a guy have better hair than me?). He's tall (of course, everyone is taller than me, right), but he's actually more than six foot and is lean. He wears a somewhat scruffy shadow on his face and he has a nice smile.

We closed own the place around 11:00 and decided to head home. At the door, we kissed...it was sweet...not too ridiculous for a first date kiss, but enough to leave me wanting more. :)

I think I'll see him again soon.

Going on a Date!

2008-10-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Going out with Great American Beer Fest tonight! He is cute and funny on the phone and in texts, so I'm excited to see what he's like in person. We're going to have drinks and dinner at a place downtown called Jax. It's a seafood place. He picked it...this may determine my yes or no vote for him, although he said it was good food and a great atmosphere. We'll see. I was a tad bit bummed to miss the debates, but now that they have started and I'm already bored, I'm glad to be going out with a cute boy instead! McCain is currently talking about Joe the plumber from Ohio and he seems to have an eye-blinking problem at the moment. I'm getting sick of election talk...let's vote it out, pick a pres, and move on.

Update tomorrow!

LOVE!

Only Mildly Painful

2008-10-11T23:52:00.000-07:00

I went to see Swan Lake tonight with Doug. The ballet was beautiful! I haven't seen a ballet in SO long and it truly was very sweet of him to ask me. It was mildly painful between us, considering that I already gave him the stop sign. He is so sweet and he's really handsome, but I have a difficult time being myself around him. Not that I have the best track record with the men I've dated, and maybe that's the reason why I should go for someone like him, but I just want someone edgier. I need someone who can put me in my place when necessary and I definitely don't think he's that guy. In fact, I think that's going to take a miracle man.

We met up with some other work friends after the ballet, which I thought was going to be awkward, but it was fine. We had a drink and then split...it was getting late.

So basically, the evening was a take it or leave it situation. I never understood those girls who date men for the tickets or games or any other perks that happen to come along with the guy. I'm much more into that person's company and how I interact with them, which I think is probably good thing. So I'm glad to be over that hump with him, so to speak.

On another note, I texted with GABF today! He seems cute and funny and I dig that he's into his family. He said he'd call tomorrow, so maybe I'll have a date later in the week??!!

I'm off to bed...nighty night!

Kill Two Birds With One Stone

2008-10-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

Can you call giving your number to two different men in one night killing two birds with one stone? Ah, Menver...gotta love it! Cara (Dallas), Kara (Iowa), and I volunteered for the Great American Beer Fest (GABF) last night. The event is the largest beer fest in the nation and was held at the Convention Center downtown. Hundreds of breweries come out to let people sample their beers. Since we volunteered, we didn't have to pay the $50 fee to get in and could still drink all the beer we wanted! We worked for the Lakefront Brewery pouring their assortment of beer, one of which was the perfect tasting pumpkin beer. It quickly became my new favorite job...if only it paid my rent.

Anyhow, I met some interesting characters, many of whom towards the end of the night, were quite drunk. The girls and I took a few breaks and wandered around the many breweries ourselves...tasted a couple of other pumpkins, none of which were better than the Lakefront Lager, and I also tried a blueberry one, which was different...nice to taste, but I don't think I'd want to drink an entire bottle of it. I also met the man who owns the Sam Adams Brewery. He came by the Lakefront table and I asked him to taste the pumpkin...I wanted his opinion. He said he wasn't big on flavored beers, but he did anyway and said he thought it had a nice flavor...a hint of nutmeg, but not too overpowering.

I met a handsome guy while I was pouring who I enjoyed talking to, but the line was backing up so our conversation was cut short. I did notice that he was with his Dad, which I decided was just about the cutest thing a handsome boy could do. Some of Kara's (Iowa) guy friends who she knew from a summer volleyball league were working at a brewery down the hall, so we linked up with them on our next break and went down to this hilarious dancing area...I say it's hilarious because the people dancing are wearing headphones and can hear the music, but as an observer, you can't hear the music, so it just looks like people are randomly dancing around. I had to get in on this. So I'm doing my thing, having a damn good time, when Kara (Iowa) points out that the handsome guy (let's call him GABF) is watching us! So, naturally, I decided to back my ass up so that he could get a clear view of ME! And it worked! Because when we left the dance floor (of course to get more beer because we were thirsty) he was standing right next to me, so I took the opportunity to strike up a conversation (INSERT APPLAUSE HERE PLEASE). I never know how to initiate a conversation, and maybe it was the pumpkin beer I had been sipping on all night, but he was holding the water pitcher that you use to clean out your glass before getting another beer and I asked him to fill mine up and somehow we got to talking...and he remembered that I was the girl pouring the pumpkin beer! YES!!! Anyway, he's from Iowa as well (which by the way, I've noticed TONS of people here are), but has lived here for about 8 years. He works in a law office, although he's not a lawyer. He even brought his dad over, who told me that he was excited that he just turned in his ballot for Obama since he wouldn't be home to vote on the 4th. Good man. So his dad (and brother) left and we chatted for a few more minutes, he asked for my number, and walked me back to the brewery where the girls were. He texted me last night to see if I wanted to get together on Sunday, so I'll have to text him back today.

BUT WAIT!!! OUR NIGHT DID NOT END THERE!!! After the beer fest was over, we went out with the boys who Kara (Iowa) knew from volleyball. There ended up being about a dozen of them and three of us...nice change! See why it's called Menver?? And I hung out with this cool guy who lives in Boulder (we'll call him Tryst because that was the name of the bar that we went to). He was really easy to talk to and I enjoyed his company. So when he asked for my number, I thought, why the hell not?!

So, it was a good night, to say the least. Who knows if I'll actually see either of them again (although I think there's a good chance I will), but it was FUN! Cara (Dallas) has pictures of our night, so when she emails them, I'll post them up!

I'm going to the ballet with Doug (the fourth grade teacher at my school) tonight. I have already given him the "this needs to remain a platonic relationship" speech considering that we work together and frankly, I don't think I'm really romantically interested in him, but I think we'll have fun anyway. I'm excited about wearing my cute black dress and black boots and it's COLD this weekend, so I get to pull out one of my favorite winter coats! We're meeting up with some other friends from work afterwards, so that should be fun too!

More to come tomorrow. Sorry about the sporadic writing, but work consumes me during the week. I'm working on a better balance of work and play, but it's a process.

Happy Weekend!

Practice, you'll feel better...

2008-10-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

Remind me (when I'm stressed or tired or overwhelmed or sad or lonely or depressed or elated or overjoyed or pleasantly and perfectly happy) to practice. This is what I need.

I feel like I've been so out of it lately, which I have with moving and being in transition and back pains, but all of that is exactly the reason I should have been practicing. My practice was strong tonight. It was the perfect way to start the week.

Remind me to practice, practice, practice. It will push me through.

Don't Give Me Any Crap...

2008-09-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Don't you love that really, no one has said anything to me about not posting in a while. How obvious is it that my own ego is screaming with paranoia that anyone else cares. Damn ego!

So I'm still at work at 7:10 PM and I'm exhausted, but I do have some cutie pie clips of Surya from when he and Andy and Kaki were in town a few weeks ago. That's all for tonight...must go home. Although let me just say, it was a WONDERFUL day! Nothing spectacular happened...things just went smoothly, which I needed. Enjoy the little one...

Ah, George...

2008-09-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

This was the most fabulous of Bush-isms I have yet to see....George endorsing John McCain during the RNC. God love him, the man had to give his speech via satellite and in doing so, there was a technology glitch.

At first, I was appalled that he actually uttered the words, "I know what it takes to be president." That right there opens a can of worms large enough to engulf our entire nation. However, instead of getting pissy about what he was talking about, I couldn't help but smile at his unfortunate (but possibly greatest) Bush-ism to date. It could possibly be one of his last, ladies and gentlemen, so enjoy it while you can.

In case you missed it...after each "profound" comment that he makes about McCain, he awkwardly smiles at the camera...in complete silence. It's as if he's waiting for people to agree with him...but no one does. It is greatness and sadness at the same time. He really deserves a "bless his heart" for his entire presidency. I love that this could quite possibly be how he exits.

Of course, Brian Williams explains after his speech that there was supposed to be an "audio switch" in which case the TV viewers would be able to hear the applause from the live RNC while listening to Bush's speech. Didn't happen though. Poor Republicans.

I recommend You Tubing this one.

Labor Day in Aspen!

2008-09-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

I had a difficult week last week. Not only was it busy and I was overtired, but I felt like I was just sucking at teaching. That was really upsetting considering that I've always felt really confident and quite happy with my career. In some respects, I feel like I'm back at first year. I know it's because of all of the newness and I'll groove into a routine soon, but it was an uncomfortable week. Friday ended up to be a good day at school and with my kids, which was a nice way to leave the week and enter a weekend in Aspen! I spent some time with my aunt, uncle, and cousin in the mountains...we had a blast!

the view from a footbridge on our hike up Maroon Bells...

another view of Maroon Bells (check out the mirror reflection in the water)...

me at the top of Aspen Mountain (Koby wanted to join at the last minute)...

at the top of Aspen Mountain...the archway I'm under was made for a wedding...

my Uncle Bruce and I at the top of Aspen Mountain...

I hope everyone had a relaxing and safe holiday weekend! Think positive thoughts for a good week at school for me!

A Sweet Compliment

2008-08-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have a little boy in my class...we'll name him Tyler. Tyler was very nervous to start school. He has some social issues. So at Back to School Night, I though it would make him more comfortable if I asked him to help me out on the first day. I showed him where he would hang his backpack and told him that I hadn't told anyone else about that routine and that he could help me explain that procedure in the morning. And of course when EVERYONE asked where to put their backpacks (which they ALL did...at the SAME time), Tyler was all set to let us know where and how to hang your backpack. You wouldn't think something that simple would need a complete explanation, but it does...and that's what you do for the first several weeks (months) of school.

Anyhow, we had a staff meeting today and at the beginning of each of our meetings, my principal asks for "celebrations" (which I love)...it's such a great way to set a positive climate in the school. And Tyler's 2nd grade teacher told us that she was visiting with his mom yesterday after the first day of school when Tyler came out to join his mom at dismissal time. His mom asked him how his first day was and he said it went great and when she asked what he thought of his new teacher he said, "She has a kind face."

Doesn't that very simple compliment make you want to cry?! It is so sweet and innocent. Made me want to cry...but mostly, I'm just so glad he seems calm and happy!

I forgot my camera, but left it at school so I could take pictures tomorrow...will post soon!

Much love...

Top Ten Reasons Why I Already Love This School...

2008-08-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

The new school year starts day after tomorrow, so referring to that, here's a top ten list of reasons why I already love my new school...

10. One thing has remained consistent...I have a half hour drive from home to school, in opposite traffic on the highway, moving north bound. Somehow that consistency is comforting to me.

9. Every classroom is STOCKED with books. I have been collecting my classroom library since college. Each room has a library 3 X the size of my personal one. Incredible!!

8. My teammate, Stephanie, and I stayed out late last week to work (we're in a portable, which doesn't have an alarm) so we don't have to leave the building when everyone else does. We thought that was great...until we had to pee. We couldn't get into the building to use the bathrooms, so our solution was to go in our rooms, rip off the top of a water bottle, and pee in it. And then throw it off the balcony outside our "cottages." We also decided not to tell anyone about it.

7. I'm in a portable, but my teammates and I are making the best of it and calling them our "cottages."

6. All of the people I work with have been super friendly and inviting and willing to help out!

5. There are many more men in this profession in CO than there are in TX. I think it's such an important influence to have men in the classrooms, so I'm glad there are several in my building.

4. I love my teammates...they are so fun and know how to balance hard work with a sense of humor.

3. I love my principals...they are positive, focused on best practices within the curriculum and instruction, and are genuinely excited to be there.

2. I get to look at mountains every day.

1. I'm working SO hard during the day that I'm finally sleeping well at night!

Will post pics of my classroom tomorrow...

Old Friends + New Friends

2008-08-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

I realize that we've already gotten into this week, but I just wanted to post a few pics of my weekend with Amanda and Marisa. The girls came in last Friday evening for a short visit...we had a blast! It was so great to see familiar faces. It was really comforting. I've always said, no matter where I live that my ideal setting would be the atmosphere of my adventures, but with all of my family and friends within it. Maybe that will be my heaven. But for now, I will enjoy my girls coming to see me. Here's a few pics on our hike up the Sanitas...

I call this post Old Friends + New Friends because we went out with Cara (a new friend of mine who I met through an old friend and her friend, who also happens to be named Kara) on Saturday night. We had a blast and I really enjoyed being with the old and new.

Things Not To Say While In Colorado...

2008-08-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

"I'm from Texas."

So, I'm in district workshops this week. I've been in training on the adopted math program and tomorrow I'll start with the literacy program. If you're a teacher, you understand that these can most often be a beating, but you've got to just make the best of it, right? The instructors know we don't want to be there, since we'd much rather be working in our rooms during the day (considering school starts next week) so God love them that they're trying for Jesus to make it seem like learning about this program is equivalent to soaking up the sun on some great beach in Mexico while sipping on margaritas with a hot cabana boy fanning my sweaty body. Damn I wish I were in Mexico.

So keeping that in mind, I realize that most people in the room with me are feeling that way as well. So we started in groups of same grade level, of which I really like my group...it's a good mix of people, we've shared some good ideas, and we all seem to have the same teaching philosophies. But every now and then, the instructors will ask us to split into different groups. So, I was doing a group activity with three other girls, two of whom knew each other and seemed completely unhappy that they had to move their asses from one end of the room to the other and the other LITERALLY did not speak a word the entire time. Way to collaborate. So I was just trying to keep things lively and somewhat positive. Here was my conversation with one of the miserable girls, I'll name her Queen Misery (QM) because every time I've glanced over at her through out this training this week, she's either rolling her eyes, practically laying on the back of her chair, or half asleep. Like I said before, I realize that workshops are hard, but for the love of everything holy, make the best of a tough/bad/irritating situation. Here's what happened when I first tried to get to know my group...

Me: So what grade will you be teaching?
QM: 1st
Me: Oh cool...I taught Kinder for a year. They were a little too young for me though.
QM: What will you be teaching?
Me: 3rd
QM: So is this you first year in the district?
Me: Yes, I actually just moved here about a week ago!
QM: Oh...where from?
Me: Dallas.
QM: So why did you decide to move here?
Me: Well, I knew I didn't want to live in Dallas forever and it just felt like the right time to try something new.
QM: But why Colorado? Do you know anyone here?
Me: Well, I know a few people here and I have some family here, but my family and I spent a lot of time here when I was younger and I've just always loved it. You know, a lot of people from Texas come up here to ski in the winter because it's fairly close...
QM: Umm, yea, we know.

And THAT was the end of the conversation. I wasn't even finished with my thought when she spouted that out and then our discussion was LITERALLY over. Apparently that pissed her off and she was done talking to me. It was so weird, but I guess now I know I should keep my mouth shut about being from Texas, especially the part about skiing up here when I was younger.

When I got back to the table of other 3rd grade teachers, another person asked where I was from and I told him I wasn't sure I should tell people. He was from Arizona though, so he didn't hold it against me. We concluded that most people who live here aren't even from here anyway. I forgot to ask Queen Misery where she was from...it would have been an even funnier story if I had and she replied, "Delaware."

What the hell happens in Delaware anyway?

Like a Dream...

2008-08-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

I've just arrived in Colorado! Sucks that my last post leaves one wondering if I even have a job before moving out here, but let's just chalk that up to a VERY busy summer and move on! I figured it would be a lot easier for me to write now that I've had a change of pace.

The last few days have seemed very dream-like. Even as I was leaving Dallas, it didn't feel like I was moving. This change has seemed fairly quiet. That's sort of the only word I can think of to describe it. Not that people didn't know I was moving, but it just sort of happened...and in a quieter way than when I moved to Boston, but frankly, that seems to be fitting since to some degree, I needed more quiet space in my life.

I stopped in Hays, Kansas for the night after driving 8 1/2 hours on Saturday. Please take my word for it...you don't need to put "get out to Hays" on your list of things to do. The dream-like sequence started there. Have you ever had that dream where you are watching a scene, and you think maybe the people in the scene can see you and might acknowledge you, but then they never do, so you figure they can't really see you at all? That's what happened to me several times on my drive to Colorado. And even though the experience was weird in a sense, I think it was kind of good that I did it on my own...not to mention the fact that I had so much crap in the car, I couldn't fit anyone in the front seat if I wanted to.

But, I'm finally here! And even though I'm in the midst of transition (which is frequently accompanied by a bit of fear, nervousness, a little loneliness), I am seeing the beauty that it entails. One of my new teammates said today that she couldn't imagine picking up and moving somewhere completely new. That seems to be the case with a lot of people I've talked to recently, but as I told her, it keeps things interesting and fresh and allows me to remember that there is so much to experience. I can't imagine staying in one place my whole life! It is incredible here! I sleep with the windows open and it gets cool at night! My drive to school involves viewing mountains off to the west...let me repeat...MOUNTAINS!! They are an incredible sight! I was blessed to watch the sun rise on my drive to Frisco each morning. Now, I can give thanks for another natural wonder to marvel at each day.

I met two of my three teammates today and I'm really excited about working with them! They are very welcoming and friendly...I think it's going to be a good year. I have another new experience...I'll be teaching in a portable this year, which I've never done before, but the whole team is out there (as well as the 2nd grade team), so at least we're all in the same boat. My principal told me yesterday that they are voting on a new bond this year which would add another wing to the school (possibly be next year). But for now, I'm trying to figure out how to arrange my furniture and all of my teaching stuff that I shipped up to the school (wish I would have taken a picture today of a few of the boxes that had literally busted open...way to go UPS...please consider this a notice that I will never use your company again!).

Two funny things to end with...

One: As many of you know, my mother is crazy (are all mother's that way?). Before I left on Saturday morning, she told me that she wanted me to write my dad's cell phone number on a piece of paper and put it somewhere safe. At that point, she was still sane and thinking that was a good idea, I told her that I'd do so and stick it in my pocket. Apparently that's not what she had in mind. She wanted me to put in my bra. That's about the time when I kissed her, reminded her that I loved her, and immediately left the house.

Two: As many of you know, I'm a bit of a daddy's girl. :) I love my father...he is THE most amazing man...and I'm not just saying that because he's my dad. He really is. He is grounded and realistic and practical, but funny! After unloading my car when I arrived on Sunday afternoon, I found Jackie, the floating cabbage patch doll that once belonged to my older brother Ben. At some point in our adult lives, he became a family joke and we would hide Jackie in various places around the house and surprise each other (I know, we're weird). But it was a much needed laugh to find out that Jackie had, in fact, traveled all the way to Colorado with me. I'm currently planning his next trip!

Much love to all...

So Much To Do! So Little Time!

2008-05-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

First off, I'm trying to be more regular about writing, but the next few weeks are jam packed!

It was a nice long weekend...one that wasn't full of lots of stuff to do, but I ended up having some good plans through out the weekend...but not TOO busy...just the way I like it!

I had a long 4-day weekend as we had Friday off for a "bad weather day" which we never had to use, so we got the day off...YES! And then we had today off for Memorial Day.

Practiced a lot of yoga this weekend, which was great considering that last week was so busy that I wasn't able to go. My body was in definite NEED. It was back bend week, which tends to be difficult for me and also tends to bring up a lot of "stuff" so some of the classes were a bit tough, but I really love my instructors. They are SO great...super encouraging and always helpful and supportive. Friday night was a two hour class and after all of the back bends, I was feeling pretty defeated. I felt like crying...don't know why...I guess that just sometimes happens, so when we went to do headstand pose, I asked if I could go by the wall. Of course, my teacher said no, but she said, "let me be your wall" and from there I was able to stay up for the full time. I like the way she connects. Sunday morning, I thought we would be on to a new week of standing poses, but alas, we were still on back bends. In the middle of another two hour class (with a different teacher), I thought I was going to get up and leave after practicing camel pose again. Even though many people think that it must be super easy to do yoga with such flexibility, it can be really difficult at times. In back bends, I tend to curl using my lumbar, which is hugely strenuous. So we were doing camel pose at the wall using the wall ropes as support and my instructor pulled me out to the middle of the room to support my back and physically show me how to bend in the correct posture. It felt so much better and even though this will be something I will have to work on for quite sometime, he at least helped me understand the goal. I usually practice with the same two teachers and I really connect with both of them. Their classes are different and I gain a different experience with each of them. I will miss them dearly when I'm not here.

Besides oodles of yogic reflection, I spent some time with my parents (much needed I might add), some extended family that was in town, some good friends, and met some new people too. Went out on Saturday night with Alli and Taylor for my birthday. They are so sweet and fun to be with. I always feel that I can just simply be myself with them and I really love that. I think it's rare, especially to be able to do so with a "whole" couple. Many times, I don't feel as comfortable with the guy, but I feel like Taylor and I are just as good of friends as Alli and I. Anyway, we had a blast at dinner...yummy La Duni! Then, we headed over to The Porch for drinks. Some of their friends from their yoga studio were there...a funny, eccentric guy that I've met before (we'll call him Bikram), a fun girl who was definitely able to hold her own, which I appreciate, and another guy who all I can say is "bless his heart." God love him...he was trying for Jesus...and so was I, but it was difficult. Taylor described him as someone who continually was telling the punchline, yet there was no joke. It was a bit rough. I ran into this kid from high school who is two years older than me...that was a bit random, but good to see him. He asked for my number...who knows if he'll actually dial it, but whatever. Bikram also asked for my number...and I challenged him to try a new perspective at the Iyengar studio. He's going to come with me on Thursday to a class...don't anyone get excited. Not that I'm not...I think it will be fun and I think he'd be good company, but that's all I'm in for. I think.

Talk to Bruno tonight. It was nice to catch up. He continues to be an interesting character.

Anyway, it was a good weekend...back to work tomorrow. I have another interview tomorrow afternoon and hopefully, I'll hear back with positive news from the interview that I had last week. Say a little prayer for me!

Sorry for the laundry list, but that's all I've got right now! I'm off to sleep!

The Week That Better Be Leading To Something Good

2008-05-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I had high expectations for this week. Apparently, I should have gone ahead and kept them pretty low. Whine alert...it's going to happen, but rest assure, I'll be over it in a bit and will have hope for another day tomorrow!

I signed a lease on a brand spankin' new car four weeks ago. Same car that I had, but the updated model. Can I get an Amen for new car smell? I've been loving it...and then, Monday afternoon happened. I'm driving home and had to to pickup my dry cleaning (side note: Does everyone know how much I love dry cleaning? Even more so, I love the drive through dry cleaners. Drop it off before school in the morning and pick it up after...all in my car...it's great. When I lived in Boston, my girlfriend, Aadina, knew that if I didn't answer my phone, most likely, I was in the dry cleaners. And the neighborhood one I went to in Boston...let me just tell you...that man could get a stain out of ANYTHING!). Anyhow, I'm pulling away from the dry cleaners and hear a "clunk-clunk-clunk" sound coming from my car. Shit. I have a flat. Are you freakin' kidding me?! Nope! I had a nice little piece of metal stuck in the wheel. Damn. Thankfully, the Rescue Rooter guys were very fast and I was on my way home, with a spare on the car (and still no licence plates, I might add...that is how new it is!). I had to get home to try out a test run with the webcam to see if this principal up in CO and I could make a video interview happen. Of course, it didn't work. So, we agreed to try again the following day. So, I decided to get the tire issue fixed and ran over to Firestone. Dropped the car off and walked down the street to this very cute little bistro place to have a bite to eat and more importantly, drink a glass of wine. It was lovely, I must admit...except for the part when the guy from Firestone called to say he couldn't patch the tire, so I'd have to buy a new one. I about cried, then ordered another glass of wine. I went back to Firestone to pick up the car and noticed black smudge marks all over my brand new light-colored car seats. Grrrrr! But, they fixed it. And I decided that the best part of the day was my short drive home because the sun looked so beautiful setting in the sky. I summed the day's events up with my need to see that...and apparently, I had to go through ALL of that, just to get to the setting sun.

I won't bore you with every nitty-gritty of the rest of the week, but let's just say, I'm STILL having technical problems with getting the video on my webcam to pop up during a video IM, even after being on the phone/ computer for 3 1/2 hours with a very nice guy from Geek Squad. That's a bit frustrating. I emailed her last night to tell her that we may have to explore other options and I didn't hear back from her today. Please cross your fingers for me. I had such hopes for this opportunity. I'm still hoping things fall into place. Maybe she's just waiting for my actual birthday? :)

Oh, and here's the kicker!! I got home today and went to check my mail and had a letter from the principal who I interviewed with a couple of weeks ago (in another district). She never called or emailed me back after our interview, even after I emailed to say thank you. No response, which I think it highly unprofessional whether you're interested in the candidate or not. So I was thrown to begin reading a letter from her that is congratulating me on becoming a member of her faculty and inviting me to join my new teammates as soon as I can get out to Colorado...yada, yada, yada. I'm completely confused until I reread who the letter itself has been addressed to...Ms. Rakell Adams of Mason, Ohio. Yep...it's true. Probably the most white trash mistake one can make. She sent her new faculty member a letter with the envelope addressed to the wrong person. Nice, huh? Of course, I was upset at first...it actually kind of felt like a boyfriend who broke up with me. But then I decided, why would I want to work for someone who is that irresponsible?! I guess it just validates my being grateful for this new opportunity that has come my way.

The girls are coming over tonight for pizza and TV watching to celebrate my birthday, which I'm SO excited about. I think tonight will mark the beginning of an upward climb!

Back on the Band Wagon!

2008-05-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, ladies and gentleman (or two of you who might read this)...I'm back!

I apologize for the enormous delay in riveting news of my life. I've been a little preoccupied. And as I told my brother when he asked when I was going to write another blog entry, I said it would for sure happen when I moved to Colorado. I was sure I'd have more time then, but alas, I'm getting a head start. I'm aiming high, people.

So it's been a very busy several months...I've made the decision to move to the Denver/ Boulder area (depending on where I can get a job) and I'm really excited about it! It's somewhat of a bittersweet adventure because there are several things (mostly people) who I love dearly here in Dallas, but we all knew I wouldn't last here forever! I've been steadily working on trying to get a job, which if you've ever done it, you know that getting a job is a job in itself! But, things are going very well. I feel like I have put my best foot forward, made good connections, etc. The positive energy is flowing.

I had a wild weekend this weekend! My weekends lately have been fairly calm, which I enjoy...it's usually a little yoga, hanging out with friends, relaxing, having dinner and drinks in a low key setting. But this weekend was one thing after the other and for the most part, it was lovely!

Friday, we had Field Day at school. This is such a fun day! The weather was perfect, the kids loved it, and the teachers were flippin' exhausted by the end of it! So, when I got home, I crashed on my bed with all of the lights on and windows open. When I woke up, it was still early evening and since I knew I had a busy weekend, I decided to scrub the house. I love cleaning my house...I love sitting there when I'm all done and reminding myself how blessed I am. I know there are a few people who share the same nerdy pleasure, but for those of you that understand, props to ya! While cleaning, I decided to have a glass of wine. By the time I was done, I realized that I was a little drunk. It's true...I drunk cleaned my house. I have moved on from drunk dialing to drunk cleaning...much more productive, don't cha think?! And the best part was, when I woke up on Saturday morning, I was a little peeved that my house was a freakin' mess until I remembered! I cleaned it last night!! See, drinking can have it's benefits!

Saturday, I got a mani/pedi with my good friend Alli. Then, I had a wedding shower to go to and later that night, a wedding to attend. I was a little nervous about going to this wedding. It was the first wedding I've gone to alone. I didn't really know very many people going, but am very good friends with the bride's sister and her family, so I wanted to go celebrate with them. Turned out, it was a flippin' blast! The bride looked beautiful, the ceremony (set in a Greek Orthodox church) was really pretty, saw a few friends from college who I haven't seen in years, and (wait for it, wait for it)...I met a cute boy! It is true!

You know how I don't seem to ever meet anyone cool who actually lives in the vicinity? Well, this guy doesn't either! In fact, he lives the farthest away of anyone I've actually given my number to. Try Saudi Arabia! He's a chemical engineer and is working there, although rumor is, he's moving back to the states, but I have no idea when. He was born in Lebanon and speaks fluent French (I didn't tell him that that in itself was a definite way to win me over) and is handsome and funny! And (bonus) he's a good dancer! We had a blast! When the party finally broke up (at 4:00 in the morning...those Lebs know how to party), he asked for my number and wanted to know if he could come down this weekend to hang out (he's staying in Oklahoma for a few weeks before going back overseas). CRAZY, but very fun! So, we'll see. I think we will call him Saudi Arabia until it's official that I can use his real name.

I got a massage yesterday after quite a long day with my mother, which officially made me content in my decision to relocate. It's a long story that I don't care to get into right now...I want to continue to bask in the happiness of my weekend!

I'm off to yoga!

My Nephew, Miss America, and the Boy Downstairs

2008-01-28T16:24:00.000-08:00

I know the subject line is random, but stay with me. You should know by now that I am a random girl. I know most writing gurus would advise me to choose one topic, but since this is my blog, I guess I can do whatever I want. These topics have nothing to do with each other...just a beautiful celebration of life, a funny time with the girls, and yet another ridiculous run in with a cute boy, who apparently, I cannot hold a civil conversation with. They are in no way of equal value. I just haven't written in a while and a few fun/ funny things have happened since. Sorry to the five of you who read this. :)

Please check out this little guy...

This is my brand-spankin' new nephew. I already love him so much and he's only about 4 weeks old. I spent a long weekend, weekend before last, staring and marveling at him. He is so cute and cuddly, but is a strong boy! I am so proud and excited to be an Aunt! His momma and daddy are incredible people in the first place, but are also amazing to watch as they unfold into these beautiful parents. So incredible...

Change of topic...the girls and I watch part of Miss America on Saturday night. It was insane...and you wonder why girls in our society have body image issues. Competitions such as this promote outer beauty, but fail to build and compliment women's mental capacities. They spend about 2 1/2 seconds on discussion of politics and/or social issues and the rest of the show is "who is the prettiest one." And this year, they did this new things where each contestant took way too long to introduce herself with something cutsie like the following...

"From the state where everything is bigger and better and the home of President George Bush, I'm XYZ, from Houston, Texas."

And each of them would drag out their state name until they could no longer breathe. And of course, many of them started walking in one direction, realized their mistake, graced the audience with a fake "I meant to do that" smile, and switched directions to walk the other way.

Here's my impression...sorry it's sideways, I don't know how to turn it right...

Finally, I have (yet another) great moment of single hood. The Sunday before I went back to work after having mono for too long, I realized that a new neighbor moved in downstairs. I was trying to bask in the glory of one more day of freedom and all I could hear was banging on the walls from below...not the sex kind of banging like the earlier post, but just irritating, hanging stuff on the walls, kind of banging. I was near walking down there to tell her/ him to knock it off, but didn't have the energy at the time. Glad I didn't too...HE'S a cutie...with a dog! So of course, I don't have the courage to actually talk to him (hints the reason why I'm still single), but I had words with him today! So, I'm walking towards the gate to my building where you have to punch in a code on this keypad before the door will unlock and let you in and when I reached out to punch in the code, I was startled by this enormous dog sitting on the other side of the gate!

Cute boy/ dog owner: "Oh I'm so sorry!"

And of course, I tired to play it cool (since I damn near dropped everything I was carrying) and I smoothly let him know that I'm totally into dogs...

Me: "Oh that's okay, I'm not scared of dogs, I just wasn't expecting him to be sitting right there."

Like he asked if dogs bothered me or not...what a loser! He was probably thinking, "I don't really give a crap, I just want to get on with my run." So then, I had to continue (of course)...

Me: "Is he friendly?"

Cute boy/ dog owner: "Oh, yea...very...he's a 130 pound lap dog."

Me: nervous laugh (what do I say next?! what comes next?! someone get me the f*ing script!)

Me: "What's his name?"

Cute boy/ dog owner: "Bailey."

And then, I've got nothin'...it was like an angle and a demon battling it out in my head:

Angel: Ask him if he's the one that just moved in below you!

Demon: No, dip shit! He'll think you're stalking him!

Angel: Just ask! He seems like a nice guy!

Demon: Please! You'll look like a fool! He wants to go on a run!

Angel: Ask him if he wants to come up for a boiled dinner! Boys would completely dig that meal!

Demon: DON'T DO IT!! SAY GOOD-BYE!!

And the demon won (for now!). So I just said good-bye and that was it. When I called Amanda and relayed the ridiculous story, she asked, "well, did you get his name?" Of course not...that would have been too easy to ask.

So for now, he will be known as Bailey's owner.

Memories of the Seventh Grade

2008-01-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have been so exhausted when I get home from work. I am in a fog most of the day...it's like when you wake up and it takes you a little while to get into the day...you need your coffee, shower, etc. to begin functioning...except in my case, I never actually get into it. I just stay in the fog.

One good thing that comes from the aftermath of mono is that I've been sleeping REALLY well at night, which I know is a small and pointless thing to be grateful for, but I can't stand it when I can't fall asleep and I really LOVE being able to fall into a deep sleep.

Anyway, I was on the couch on Monday night watching Dance War...I was hoping I'd love the dancing aspect of this show, but frankly, the talent is pathetic, the judges love everyone in the competition, and they are performing like cheesy riverboat entertainers. I decided that it was time to turn off the TV when four boys wearing jeans, tight white t-shirts and little black vests started singing to "End of the Road" by Boys to Men. Seriously? I had to check the calendar to make sure I hadn't slipped into a coma. Yep. It's 2008. I thought we had slipped back into the late 80's/ early 90's. It was then that I had an image of dancing with Mark Massey at my 7th grade Christmas dance circa 1993. I was wearing a black dress that was suede on the bodice and poofed out from the waist down. It went down to about my knee and I was wearing hose and heels for probably the first time ever. My hair was equally as poofy as the bottom part of my dress and I'm sure I was wearing rhinestones on some part of my body. It wasn't pretty. At the time, I didn't appreciate my scrawny ass little figure. Wish I could still eat anything I wanted and have pretzel sticks for thighs. We did the usual 7th grade dance move...my arms were straight around his neck, his were straight around my waist and we swayed from side to side for 3 1/2 minutes while the DJ let the song roll.

The grown men on the screen stopped singing (and don't kid yourself if one of them didn't cheesily kneel down at Carrie Ann's feet and actually kissed her hand...eewww...I'd slap any man's face who ever dared do that) and I knew it was time for bed.

I appreciate dance...I love watching it and I love doing it, but for the love of Nancy, this is the worst display of singing and dancing I have ever seen.

Two Little Words...and You've Got Yourself a Villian

2008-01-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

First of all, I would like to say that I am writing this at work! This is an enormous accomplishment as my school system server usually bumps me off all websites/ email access that is not school related because they always think we're looking up porn! But here I am, without any site protector blocking me! YES!!

I've been meaning to blog about this for a while now, but I'm just getting around to it...mostly because I forgot about it and then I heard it again and knew it was time to share it with the world. I am hoping that men across the universe will read this blog, figure it out, and fix this problem. Surely, I'm not the ONLY woman hearing these ridiculous words.

Here's the thing...my father, who is just about THE most wonderful man in the world can tell me to take care when ever and where ever he wants. Frankly, he says it to me just about every Sunday before I leave to go home and begin my week. He also follows it up with "work hard and do your best" which he's told me every day since I was a little girl. Sometimes, he'll even text me really early in the morning with "WHADYB" which are the initials for that phrase. And yes, it's true, my father sends me texts messages...and they're really good...tell you about those later. My point is that he can tell me to "take care" and I know he truly means it. He honestly wants me to take care of myself. He wants to be sure that I am safe and sound and a happy person and he wants to hear about my adventures on the next Sunday dinner. Other men, however, are not allowed to ever tell me that.

The whole "take care" scenario began at the end of an eight year relationship that I had with this guy who I dated through out high school and college and when we were getting off the phone after breaking up, he actually uttered, "well, take care." Please tell me I'm not crazy. How do you go from emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually giving so much of yourself to "well, take care." It is just about the most ridiculous, impersonal thing I've ever heard. So when this happened years and years ago, it became a complete joke with my girlfriends and I.

And apparently, men don't change much from 22 to 33 because after I told Bruno that I didn't think I should talk to him for a while, he said the dreaded words. You just can't say that to someone after you've been intimate. It's like a law. So I laughed about it for a while and didn't talk to him for about a month until we spoke last weekend (and don't any of you give me any grief about it either). And it happened again! For some stupid reason, I wasn't expecting it, but don't kid yourself, the "take care" comment came out! I was so stupefied that I didn't think fast enough to "take care" of the situation, but hear me now, the next time some dumb man tells me to "take care," I will boldly tell him, "Don't YOU tell Me to take care! YOU take care!"

And I know my mother says I'm picky (but for God's sake why shouldn't I be? If I'm going to spend the better part of my life with someone, he might as well be darn amazing). He better not have a last name like "Hefflefinker." He better not be shorter than I am...now there's an image. And he better not tell me to "take care."

Teachers of America Unite

2008-01-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

And no, Texas has not become a teacher's union state over the holiday. I am referring to the fact that ALL of us who had to start back to school today were united in our severe depression over the past weekend. I'm completely serious...I was really depressed all day on Saturday. I was going to write a blog entry earlier than today, but couldn't fight my way out of the depression. And for those of you who aren't teachers who really want to challenge me and say "yea, but you get 3 months off in the summer and had 2 weeks for the Christmas break"...quit your bitchin' right about now because you would need that kind of time off if you did what we did every day.

I called Amanda yesterday, she was depressed as well, and we decided that we should grab a bite to eat and try to collect ourselves before the big day arrived. It was pathetic. Marisa came too and she took a picture of my pitiful face (her word, not mine, although I'm not arguing) as we left the restaurant. Unfortunately, I can't get the picture to upload to my computer, but whatever...I'll let you imagine.

BUT! It ended up being a really good day! I think I was even more of a wreck considering I had been out for an entire month and on my drive up to school, I had to remember exactly where my room was, but eventually, I found it. Thankfully, my boss let me work in my room for most of the day, which was great because I had no idea what happened in there when I was gone. By about 2:00, I was starting to get really tired and my side was aching...I don't know if that was the swollen spleen talking, but it didn't rupture today, so I'm good. I left around 2:30 and headed home where I passed out for quite a while...even still, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to sleep just fine tonight.

It was great to get back into the groove. And the thing about being a teacher (at least in my opinion) is that it's the kind of job where when you come back after a long break, the people you work with smile at you like you're a rock star that they're just seeing for the first time (and by people, I mean the little people)! I went down to the office while a class of kindergartner's was walking to lunch and do you know what happened?! My sweet little friend, Zyana, was heading the line and her face lit up when she saw me and of course, she gave me a hug (as she always does when she sees me...even if she gives me a hug on my way to get a fork from the cafeteria, she'll give me another one as I pass her leaving the cafeteria 4 1/2 seconds later) and then, the 18 other six year olds that trailed her waved "hello!" and wanted me to hug them back as well. That's the beauty of my job...no matter how I'm feeling when I'm at home and away from it all, I really do love getting back to it!

New Years (formerly known as the "overrated holiday")

2008-01-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve Day...all I really wanted to do was lull about all day in my jammies and continue reading my new favorite book, The Shadow of the Wind, but I had to drag myself out of my deliciously cozy bed to run to the store. I also wanted to try and get lucky and find a purse that perfectly matched my shoes (which didn't happen, but I drove myself nuts for a little while running around trying to make it happen). Then, I decided I'd treat myself to some new perfume, but when I went to the little shop that I always get it from, the packaging was different. Turns out, it was a different perfume altogether and I ended up smelling like an old lady for most of the afternoon. I dropped a ton of my groceries on the way up the stairs to my apartment and accidentally scared the crap out of myself about ten minutes into putting things away because I thought someone was coming into my place when the door started creaking open! I was sure that a creepy man was on the other side of the door with a gun ready to rape and kill me. That's when I realized that I had forgotten to actually close the door all the way shut after coming inside and the wind was slowly pushing it open. The price you pay to live alone sometimes! That's when I also realized that I should have screwed it all, listened to my first instinct and stayed in my bed for the better part of the day reading. When I finally got settled, put the groceries away, and was on the couch with my book and a yummy cup of hot hazelnut coffee all ready to pick up where I left off, I dropped my damn mug all over the blanket on my lap, which of course, ran onto the couch! After cleaning up the mess, I decided to curl up in my bed and continue falling in love with Julian Carax (as all of the other characters in the book have done). So here I am, perfectly content with my book, where I should have been four hours ago...

And all of a sudden I hear a muffled noise...it's kind of a moaning sound...I sat up and wondered, "What the hell is that?"

Sweet...Jesus...is someone REALLY having sex at 3:30 in the afternoon on New Year's Eve?! Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen...don't kid yourself...it's true! Apparently, I have new neighbors and my complex has thin walls. Maybe I should bring them a welcome basket full of condoms and pregnancy tests.

Good thing it was time for me to get ready for my evening...turned up my iPod on full blast, sang my heart out in the shower like there was no tomorrow and left there hoping the evening's plans would work out better than my day.

Here we go 2008! Just when you get used to one year, 365 days swing by and POOF! you've got to get used to a whole other digit. I normally say that New Years is a very overrated holiday and unless you have something specific to do, it's probably going to be a let down. Let it be known that while I still believe this to be true, there's one more very crucial detail to add to that explanation of the annual event. Quick run down of the night...

After a lovely appetizer, cocktail, and fun little "what to look forward to in 2008" game at Marisa's house, we headed out to Hibiscus for dinner. Got settled at the bar in the back of the restaurant where we ordered yummy martinis and actually snagged a couple of seats to sit and visit.

This is the part when I spill the second drink of the day. I hate the traditional martini glasses. They are ridiculous. I turned to pick mine up, knocked it all down the side of me...lovely side car martini (ten bucks too!) all down the side of my dress...I knew there was a good reason why I wore black.

Wiped myself off in the bathroom (I swear you can't take my anywhere nice), got settled at our table and we're ready to toast...except my drink was still all over my dress...

There we go...much better!

After a beautiful dinner, we tricked Marisa into thinking there was no more chocolate cake for dessert (because instead, the rest of us really wanted the butterfinger ice cream in an oreo pie crust with other yummy things on top that I can't remember right now)..."No chocolate cake?!"

And Anna reminded us that when we are having a conversation, there's usually about four other conversations happening in her head (one of her goals for the year is to find balance...love it)...

Amanda (looking much like Angelina Jolie, I might add), laughed so much that her make up started running down her face...

I enjoyed that dessert like it was the last one I'll ever have...
Since it was close to midnight and we were ready to jet from Hibiscus, I made a quick phone call to check on the stats of the bar down the street...

Sweet! No cover! Works out well for us since we just spent all our money on dinner and drinks!

Went down to The Old Monk to officially toast to a new year...somehow I wound up getting purposefully shoved twice and yelled at by a rather unhappy girl who was displeased with my existence for one reason or another (I'm still unsure of why, but have decided that this year I must focus on having more compassion, so that is what I have for her). This is what the girls' facial expressions looked like when they thought this creature was going to seriously start a fight with me...And my lovely ladies and I continued to giggled our happy asses back to Anna's where we passed out for the evening...

And today while driving back to my house, on this, the first day of the new year, I realized the most important thing about how one spends New Year's Eve...in the presence of friends (and in my case, life lines), laughing so hard we forgot what we were laughing about in the first place...

Good night, dear friends...may this be the year for all of us!

It's Time...for a Joyous Day

2007-12-28T03:44:00.000-08:00

Hope
Erin
Always Hope
For that is the one thing you will never, ever lose.

It's 5 AM...I can't sleep...but for good reason. I am officially an Auntie today! Andy called a couple hours ago...I have a 9 pound, 8 ounce nephew! No name just yet, but everyone is healthy, which is what matters most, of course.

I haven't written in several days...Ben and Drew are in town, holidays, laziness, etc. But I've been doing a lot of thinking (surprised?!).

I woke up on Christmas morning and when I remembered what day it was and didn't have much of a feeling about it, it really scared me. I was afraid that I had lost my spirit. I wondered if this was it...you've lost it...it will never come back. The 25th ended up to be a nice day...quiet and small, but nice.

Ben and Drew came home Christmas night, so we actually celebrated our Christmas on the 26th. I love it when they're home and I felt so emotional with Ben this time around. I think I've just really missed him over the past few months...we're normally so fused and it felt odd to me that so many things have happened since I saw him in August and I didn't get to dive into those things with him..it all finally came to a head. We were making our Christmas dinner and I asked him for a hug and in our embrace, I felt like crying, so I did. But in that moment, I got re-connected with Benny again. The Beach Boys really did say it best when they sang, "God only knows what I'd be without you." It's true...only God DOES know what I'd be without you, Ben.

So with all of my low feelings over the past several weeks, what with having mono and ceasing a relationship that I (foolishly?) thought might actually be one that lasts a long while, I decided that it is time to quit feeling lonely and sad and sorry for myself. It's time to make a change. I knew it would come sometime soon, but I'm ready to start putting my wishful thinking into action. I'm still working on the details, but after that little life was born tonight, I think a little life was re-born in me too.

I don't really have many regrets in my life, but over the past few weeks, I've been doing too much questioning of my previous life decisions. Why didn't I go to school in the east? Why didn't I go into another profession? Why (GOD WHY?!) did I stay in that relationship for WAY too long? Why am I still living here wondering what they hell I'm doing? Then, I went through a few days of "I wish" statements. I wish I would have learned to play the violin when I was younger. I wish I could speak French. I wish Bruno isn't the way he is. I wish he would call and tell me he was wrong. I wish I lived somewhere else, where I could wake up each morning and feel care free, like I did in Boston.

It was like I was asking these things as if I have no time left in my life to make new/ more/ different choices...like I missed all of my chances to get it right at 18. I'm freakin' 27 years old! The only thing there's not enough time for is questioning myself about my past because honestly, I am very happy with every decision that I've already made, even if it was difficult at the time. Those choices have helped to shape who I am and I'm proud of and love that person.

So today, I feel my spirit again. I think it just got a little lost, but I found it. And thankfully, I knew that I would. It's going to be an amazing year, 2008. I can feel it. So, to combine what would have been two very different posts, it's time...time for the baby to come, time for change (and to embrace it without so much anxious fear)...this has already been a blessed day and we're not even half way through it.

And this is why I remain hopeful...it always comes through for me.

My Breasts Are Fabulous

2007-12-20T20:02:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the seemingly abrupt title...you will understand (and possibly agree shortly). Here's the thing...I got another email from a friend announcing that she would be giving birth to a child soon. First, let me start by saying, I am completely and truly happy for all of the women who surround my life who are giving new life to the world. Really I am. I love all of these women and I believe that they deserve everything that they want in this life. For God's sake, my own brother and sister-in-law are about to make me an auntie, which I haven't stopped talking about for months.

BUT...for the love of God, can a sista get a break?!

So I had a Christmas dinner/ gift exchange with the single fab 5 tonight (although one's engaged, but whatever). Anyhow, I was explaining that I saw these nipple pads in a magazine that are supposedly great for when you're nursing (you put them in the fridge and then on your boobs and apparently they are soothing) and I, feeling the need to help my sister-in-love after she gives birth, thought I should buy them for her.

And it dawned on me...at this moment in my life, I have every reason to be completely joyous! My breasts are fabulous (and for the record, not one man, or woman for that matter, has told me otherwise)! They are voluptuous, perky and my nipples are proportional and not huge, painful, and cracked. And although I truly do believe that I wouldn't mind trading my perfect breasts for a precious child someday, in the spirit of being completely happy with my life the way it is at this moment, my breasts are fabulous!

Merci et au revoir ~

Mono

2007-12-19T11:01:00.001-08:00

Who gets mono at the age of 27, you might ask? Well, me, apparently. I blame my ex boyfriend (but then again, I also blame him for the war in Iraq right now). It is such a man thing to do to give a girl mono and then say, "sayonara, adios, cheerio, so long, buh-bye."

Since I'm out of work for two weeks and am a bit bored, my sweet brother sent me a few You Tube video clips to cheer me up. He found this one, for instance, featuring Rusty, a narcoleptic dog. Ben, of course, decided that Rusty had mono, just like me. He's so sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY5PMT-_rLg

In trying to graciously listen to my body, which is obviously telling me to slow down, I got to thinking about why I got so sick. This got me to thinking about my relationship with the ex, who I dated for about 4 months. In the course of our dating, I got really sick twice, which completely validates my reasons for blaming him. The first time around, I was out of work for four days with the worst case of tonsillitis my internist had ever seen in his many years of practicing. That one was painful, yet I lost five pounds because I couldn't eat, so there was a trade off. I started feeling really sluggish a couple of weeks ago and I noticed that one of the glands in my neck was really swollen...I'm talking jutting-out-of-my-neck swollen. It wasn't pretty. Although I didn't really feel all that bad, I went to the doctor anyway. They said I had tonsillitis again and sent me home with an antibiotic. Well, five days later, things weren't better. Went to an ENT who took blood and diagnosed me with mono. Thanks, doc. Out of work for two weeks, which I know most would agree that was a tremendous bonus, but considering that I had less energy that my dear doggie friend, Rusty, it was no good. You should see me trying to climb the stairs of my apartment. It's quite amusing. It's only three flights.

So I've concluded that the last relationship I was in was, in fact, an infectious one. The question remains, why do people stay in relationships that are not healthy? And even when we may realize that the healthy thing to do is to cut the relationship off, why do we still miss them when they're over?

Merci et au revoir ~

Bear With Me

2007-12-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

Let it be known that I NEVER read anything that I write out loud to anyone and now, by sheer genius of the Internet, I can announce all that I have to say (whether people like it or not). In needing to overcome this fear, two things come to mind: a memory that happened several years ago and something I read today.

I used to live in Boston and after telling one of my roommates (much older and wiser, of course!) that I hardly ever write down my thoughts for fear that someone would read them, he was completely appalled. I think I understand why now. And I've been writing ever since.

Today, I stumbled upon a website of this woman who is a Holistic Health Practitioner and in one of her e-newsletters, she described viewing her own vulnerablity as being equal to death, which I think many people deep down, can understand. She went on to explain that her view of vulnerability has changed...now, she feels alive and connected when she allows herself to go there. She is reminded that we are all in this together and we are not alone in our thinking and feeling (and once I figure out how to link websites, I'll give her some credit and thanks).

As humans, we try to hold it all together for each other. The pressure builds and we don't want anyone else to know that we might not be able to handle it. We have to be strong...be perfect. But we are not alone, however much we may feel that way. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open doors to really experience life on a very personal level rather than as a spectator. I'm really ready to be living my life.

And just so you know that I do, in fact, have a very playful heart, please note that even though I haven't actually followed the show in it's entirety, I am watching the finale of The Biggest Loser...with a bowl of ice cream.