You just haven't found the right one yet...

A little background...

I dated this guy named Jeff last October. I liked him, but it fizzled after about a month and I haven't spoken to him since. He's called/texted a couple of times, but I never responded. I got the following email from him tonight...

Erin,

First off don't worry I deleted your #. I know something must have happened to have you not want to return my call etc. From what I remember we got in a little spat the last time we talked & by the advice of my gf's at work they said if she's interested she'll call. I think I made a few attempts for drinks with my friends but nothing.

Anyway to close this one out I'd like to know so I don't make the same mistake in the future. During that time I had thought you were maybe seeing that guy in boulder, but you & I weren't exclusive so I didn't feel it was my place to say anything. I thought you were cool, funny, cute & had plenty of funny stories from your class. So I guess just know that.

But if you can at least let me know what I messed up along the way I'd greatly appreciate it. Don't worry I can delete your email after sending this - just had the same sort of scenario about a week ago & am curious if this is a habit or what.

Thanks again Erin,

Jeff

Timing is funny...here's how I answered...

Hey Jeff ~

First off, sorry I didn't respond to your IM the other day...I didn't recognize your email address. And for that matter, I'm sorry I did not respond to your couple of phone calls. Honestly, I generally am pretty straight forward when it comes to closing out a relationship. I have no specific reason why I was not straight forward with you...please don't take it personally, but it was rude of me and I'm sorry.

It's funny that you emailed tonight, actually. Just in the last few weeks, I've stumbled upon a few exes who are now married and although I'm happy for them and glad I'm not married to them for one reason or another, it's got me wondering, where have I gone wrong to not be in the same scenario? When I read your email, the first thing I thought was, we just weren't meant for each other. It's not that you DID anything specifically that turned me off or offended me in any way. I found you attractive, funny, and ambitious. I liked that you seem close to your family. I just didn't see us together in the long run. Some women like dating and enjoy the comfort of being linked to someone. While I enjoy being in a relationship, I want to be in one with someone who I can see a future with.

So, unfortunately, I can't give you the magic answer. I wish I could because then, I might be in a more fulfilling relationship myself. A girlfriend of mine just told me recently, "There's nothing wrong with you. It's nothing you're doing or not doing...you just haven't found the right one yet."

I don't think you messed up...I just don't think you've found the right one yet either.

I wish you much luck in finding the right one...think of it this way, she's wondering where the hell you are too! :)

Erin

And I'll close this post with something I read on the mirror of the bathroom at a restaurant called Cafe Gratitude in San Francisco over the summer...

I am worthy of everything wonderful!